You just (nervously) gave your teen their first smartphone. Now you`re on a strategic mission to build a responsible digital citizen, even if you don`t know exactly what that means. After doing your homework, you decided to meet on neutral ground with a well-thought-out plan to ensure a safe and positive phone experience: a smartphone contract. Jimmy did some research and discovered an amazing app called Bark to monitor Jules` phone. Bark monitors your child`s texts, emails, YouTube, and over 30 social media apps and platforms for topics such as cyberbullying, adult content, sexual predators, blasphemy, suicidal thoughts, threats of violence, and more. This agreement between [Parents` Names Go Here] and [Tween`s Name Goes Here] sets out the family rules and consequences regarding the use of mobile phones. Cell phones can be very helpful. I know not everything is bad. I work so much on my phone that I understand that it`s a delicate balance. However, I also realize that adults struggle with our devices just as much as children. Personally, I have to be so deliberate not to be enslaved by my phone.
On the contrary, this contract will help ensure that I am as responsible as our children. Establish enforceable rules (with clear consequences) as soon as they receive a phone. Just write down the rules and smile when you give them to your teen. Explain that this is a new day. Let them express their opinions with respect and thank them for sharing parts of their budding wisdom. Don`t argue with them, just be happy and confident. Once you are done (a process of less than 30 minutes, as there will be no fight), do not sign anything; Instead, do something fun with the family (excursion, bike ride, hike or dinner – without a phone, of course!). The goal is to set and model healthy boundaries and priorities and not allow the discussion about the “phone rule” to take all the power and ruin your day or relationship. This approach will help keep the phone in its place in your family at the bottom of the totem. The other goal is to give them a glimpse of real life: when they grow up, they still have to follow rules and show responsibility, transparency and balance.
You say they don`t like rules? Then they`re not quite ready for a phone yet. It was easy! Like a good coach, you need to keep the lines of authority clear. In our culture of disrespect, the new normal of a “phone on every teenager`s lap” has not helped our teens practice respect for their elders, parents, or authorities. The telephone contract transfers the power of the parents to the teenager and further undermines this line of leadership. Rules and limits are required, not a contract. Focus on developing real social skills. Give them the opportunity to hone real-world social skills that will better prepare them for the world to come. Instead of spending time with apps to monitor their smartphones and social media, spend more time scheduling frequent social gatherings in your home to spend personal (non-technical) time with their friends.
Don`t wait for them to take the lead. It will be uncomfortable at first, but the best gift you can give your teen is the opportunity to develop a depth of valuable personal skills. The greatest need of your teens is to be unconditionally loved and accepted by their families. The nature of a phone contract can make them feel like an opponent (you against them) or that you`re not on the same team. This can weaken family ties and encourage over-reliance on peer ties. Because peer relationships are inherently fragile, an unhealthy level of peer engagement leads to poor outcomes, according to Leonard Sax, MD. Another goal is to help children express themselves when they see or receive something on their phone that makes them uncomfortable. These contracts include measures that the children promise to take. They also contain measures that parents or caregivers promise to take. Have you signed a mobile phone contract with your tween? How did this approach work for you? Share your experience in the comments below. Watch our video on YouTube to join the conversation there.
After trying this incredibly popular tool, many parents have found that the family smartphone contract is not worth the paper it is printed on, nor the high hopes and emotional energy invested in it. In fact, it can do more harm than you think. Building good digital citizens doesn`t start with a smartphone contract. So before you print this contract and call your teen out of bed, out of the video game, or away from Snapchat to sign it, you might want to read on. One of the biggest fears that comes with giving a child a cell phone is that they will spend more time looking at that small screen than doing anything else. I`m not naïve, it was also my fear. So why didn`t we just print out one of these “teen cell phone contracts” and ask our child to sign? First, develop the manners, etiquette, and responsibility in real life before you allow yourself to own a phone. In fact, you can determine your teen`s phone readiness by behaving in real life.
But be sure to subtract a few years, as their phone behavior is usually more immature than their actual behavior. Overreaction: “Are you kidding? No phone during homework? I`m going to die! Modern parenting is difficult. Using a tween cell phone contract may seem like the best answer for your family, but it may not be. As we try to work our way through a tween`s education, we share everything we learn along the way. Find out what our family did instead of the cell phone contract and why. Click below to download my children`s mobile phone agreement. Please also share this article with anyone who might use this type of information. Inspired by a segment I did with Good Morning America. The segment featured Janell Burley Hofmann, who created an iPhone contract for her 13-year-old son.
Here`s a teen cell phone contract to help you spark that “critical cell phone responsibility discussion” with your teen. It`s designed so you can give it directly to your teen, but I encourage you to make it your own. A cell phone contract is an agreement that outlines what families will do to ensure that children take care of their phone and use it responsibly, such as not texting while driving. A few documentaries were recommended to me, so I wanted to share them here too. A family friend who loves our kids advised us to watch Childhood 2.0. Her family experienced trauma and a very difficult number of years after her daughter received a phone at the age of 10/11. Another is the social dilemma. Have you seen a few of them? The sample phone contract below can help you and your child get started. Use the contract as is, or modify it according to your own rules and consequences.
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